I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
