I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
