I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Randomize
