We're facebook friends in real life
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
