Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
