im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Randomize
