but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
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