Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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