I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize