Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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