Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
