I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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