Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Randomize
