so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
