Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
