At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
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