she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Omg I joined a choir last night...
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize