how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
