God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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