Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
