I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
