This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
How drunk are you?
Completed.
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