I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
