In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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