Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
