I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Randomize
