i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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