I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
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