We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
organizing the empties. That sober.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
