cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I'm sobbing to NWA
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
