I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize