I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
im holly from the hills drunk
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Randomize
