I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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