none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
