just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
