and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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