Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
