Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
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