I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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