i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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