her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
