i wish starbucks made bloody marys
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
