Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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