I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize