Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Randomize
