Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I think I sprained my soul last night
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
