I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
