Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Randomize
