1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I'm eating all of the evidence.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
It's rum buckets o'clock
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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