Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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