hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
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