is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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