the condom got lost in my hair
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
