Dual....:-)
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
