there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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