Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
