i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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